A comment on isolation/alienation

Recently I've been thinking a lot about isolation and alienation in society, both online and in person. I think there's a lot to be said about all of it, but here's where my brain is leading me;

I've been thinking about isolation in terms of how we as individual people relate to other individuals through mutual understanding, and identity. This has been dredged up by a school project of all things. I've essentially had to look at identity as a concept, but I was told to expand further than what I normally would. Plus we've been looking at the sculptures of Alberto Giacometti, and discussing the existentialist movement. 

In my life, I've often felt quite ostracised by my peers, jumping between social cliques just looking for someone who would accept me. Then, eventually I found exactly that, people who care about me at my lowest and just ensure I'm okay afterwards. Contrary to what I thought, though, I didn't feel immediately safe and secure like I expected. I still felt othered and ostracised.

And a large significant portion of that could be because these friends, no matter how externally close they can be with me, can't be as close as I seem to envision. I want someone who understands to a deep extent what I'm feeling, what I have felt, and maybe even my behaviours.

Without that closeness I feel I need, I feel isolated. That feeling increases tenfold because of that extra layer of anonymity. People do not connect, and now more than ever do I understand Giacometti's depiction of "blubbery space between humans" no one is willing to connect anymore

Most of this was written at 12am, so forgive any weirdness