Those tentative first steps

It's odd knowing what you want to do with a new tool/social space/website like this isn't it.

I often marvel at just how easily people can come up with something of value to talk about and share with the world. On a daily basis.

Sometimes multiple times a day.

It's not that I do not have things I wish to share. It's that I'm not sure of the words much of the time. Also, I am someone who is much better at bouncing off others in conversation, but in recent years I have found myself very much more isolated from people.

Through no choice of my doing, I am often quite, not unliked or unpopular, but ... I think what most people have towards my existence is ambivalence.

 

I'm not openly hostile if I can help it and I don't try to annoy, but people are not really all that interested in what I have to say either.

I'm someone who has been a part of nearly every social network and tool made in the west, and no one seems to know I exist.

I am led to thinking what it is I am doing to go so unnoticed. I should feel proud I suppose, I am not after fame, or financial success. Money has always been, boring, as a thing.

I don't want to have a friends/follow list of hundreds of people.

So I wonder if I should see the lack of interest as some sort of ironic victory.

Yet I do have a need to say things. Tell a story. Record a video. Draw a bad stick figure picture. I just still cannot find the words, make the images form outside of my mind through my fingers.

In my head I have the most in depth and wonderful sonnett, but it just cannot make it real.

I suppose I shall use this place, this page and blog, to share what little I do manage to vomit into the world. For better or worse. I've just got to get the ball rolling and maybe eventually one or two people will want to hear the one or two songs that are actually in tune.

or words that are actually speeled connectly.