idek (tw trauma and self harm)

I don't know where to start or go so that is why I am saying it here to get stuff off my chest, Welll lets try to start where I started to mentally not be ok, My parents divorce thanksgiving 2020 my parents left each other, and I was/still am pissed at my mom to this day, I was 11 at the time, So fast forward to my birthday (December 11th) I got to see my mom and dad together for the last time, because they wanted me to have one more birthday with the together (not romantically together but yk what i mean) So then fast forward 5 or 6 months, I am in 6th grade in 2021 and I was not mentally ok, I was bullied all the time, and I made a friend which I thought he would be my best friend (More on him later) we were good friends and I trusted him, and I met this girl that I fell in love with (I am not going to say her real name so lets call her girl 1) so girl 1 and I became good friends, and I asked her to be my gf at the end of the year and she declined me bc she had a bf (not the end of girl 1) during school in like may tho I cut my arm for the first time and I regret it still (right now I am 3 weeks clean of harming myself and I am proud of it) and then summer came along and it was a shit summer bc I was scared of dying and I harmed myself alot >.<, then 7th grade started and I met a friend who has saved my life more than once, I was still friends with the one dude, and girl one me and her got together (Only for a few months) she left me for her friend who she liked for a long time (I was hurt) So then I lost the one dude who was my friend he told me to kms and we fought, then I met this girl who I thought was the love of my life (she left me last month) I have been hurt alot lately (Not saying everyone should bow down and kiss my ass bc what I am dealing with) I am just saying cut me some slack when I am to tired to get up and deal with life, Sorry for the trauma dump I just did not know where to go >w<