Vent

I hate my life. I'm a therapist friend which i don't mind because i love seeing my friends happy but i don't know how to control my emotions which makes me look insane. I feel like I'm always most of friends 2nd option because they'll call the person they want then if they don't respond they'll call me because I'll pick up. I always apologize for things that aren't my fault at all. I protect everyone just because but i cant protect myself from me. I know kids at school hate me because of my style and skin colour. I'm hypersexual and i hate it, i feel disgusted with myself because of it. My dad is in prison and he only calls me when he wants money, he was put in jail when i was 3 and every father figure i ever had leaves me or screws up so i hate them. my crush who is one of my best friends but they told me that they would never get together with me but i didn't even tell them i had a crush on them. My so called bff keeps trying to one up me when i talk about my trauma like it isn't a competition we had different lives. I would do more but i already put way too much on here. Just know please don't vent if you reply to this. Have a great day <33