aaaaaaaaaa

i've begun to loathe going on any and all front-facing social media where i follow people that i know in real life... mostly because it feels as if there's so much occurring around me and i haven't yet started participating in life, myself. i constantly feel a sense of fleeting, like i'm running out of time. every day is the same and yet everyone's doing so much.

perhaps one day i'll have the opportunity to do things, go places, live out all the insignificant daydreams and escapes that i imagine for myself in my mind. i'm running in circles without any end in sight, despite seeing exactly where i've been.

what i would give to be free of this unending death-rattle, to cease this dance. when will the music stop?