Falling into the Disturbing Vocaloid Songs rabbit hole (MASSIVE TWs AHEAD)

(cw: swearing)

Somewhere in October of last year, after I discovered what Vocaloid was (read my last blog), I was looking through a ton of Vocaloid playlists, and I managed to hear a clip of MASA Works Design's "The Fox's Wedding." My curiousity got the best of me, and I saw shooshiMooshi (a ytuber who reacts to disturbing music and more) react to it, and while I was listening to it, I internally freaked out. Something felt off about it, and I couldn't rest well that night. Luckily (or not), being exposed to The Fox's Wedding made me feel numb towards all of the other, far more disturbing and creepy songs I discovered afterwards. (TWs onward: r@pe, SA, c@nnIb@lism, t0rtUre, necr0ph1l1a, p3d0ph1l1a, muRd3r, and generally creepy stuff) 

Fast forward to November of last year, I listened to both The Fox's Wedding and The Spider and the Kitsune Like Lion, and learned what they were about. I won't rant about the canon of the Onibi Series here, but it was pretty gut-wrenching to me at first. Its a really strange sensation whenever you're listening to a disturbing Vocaloid song for the first time, seeing all of the imagery and the creepy but enjoyable music playing, and feeling either uncomfortable, or some other kind of feeling (like dread or panic, to me at least). Knowing that the first two Onibi Series songs had themes of c@nnib@lism and t0rture, among other themes, had me feeling paranoid.

Kikuo, MASA, Maretu and other producers are well-known for making music incorporating the above TWs, and at the same time, making those songs sound really good and catchy, upbeat even. And a few months ago (March/April of this year), just to get an even more numb sensation after listening to creepy Vocaloid songs, I listened to two of the most arguably disturbing songs that the Vocaloid scene has to offer; Machigerita-P's "Okaasan" and Steampianist's "Secrets of Wysteria. Not many people actually listen to these two, because they actually evoke creepy vibes, making the listener feel disturbed to the core. "Okaasan" is about a girl who is, theoretically, getting abUs3d by her mother (okaasan in Japanese), and even has an even more creepier reverse version. "Secrets of Wysteria" however, is based on actual events, and paints the disturbing nature of Albert Fish, and his victims, who were all children. 

I felt extremely panicked by "Okaasan" but ultimately didn't really feel anything towards "Secrets of Wysteria", and instead just kept wondering why the heck someone could do something like that. 

A few weeks later (early May 2023), I heard of Maretu's first songs, and decided to give a listen to one of them. That one of them? Forced Obedience, which isn't really creepy, but definitely disturbing. Sung with both Japanese and Korean, this details about not one, but two r@pIngs that are happening, and the despair the victims are experiencing. While the lyrics caught me off guard, the fact that this song's genre was heavy metal, made me hesitate listening to it regularly (because of how much I liked listening to the genre). Ultimately I did decide to listen to it often, and went further down the rabbit hole. 

And just last month, while listening to a playlist of Maretu's old songs (all mainly heavy metal), I really enjoyed one song in particular; Schoolgirl Pr0st1tut1on (english translation), which I had no idea what it was about, until i searched up the translated lyrics for it. I was disgusted, again. It had massive themes of p3d0ph1l1a, and I got a bit irritated I didn't do my research on it sooner. It really annoys me that every time I hear a good-sounding Vocaloid song, read the lyrics and find out it has taboo topics... I fall for them every time now-

But like most other people, I do still listen to the songs I've mentioned (except Secrets of Wysteria and Okaasan) because they sound really fucking good imo, and I don't really pay attention to the lyrics after reading them.

You could always give me more recommendations for "disturbing but banger" vocaloid songs anytime, I like doing deep dives into songs like these now! 

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