Without my family, but at home.

I still remember being in my country and never feeling like I didn't belong there. I hated waking up and facing the routine, my family, my life. Although my relationship with my family was not the best due to my thoughts and personality, I couldn't complain about the life I had, since they always gave me "everything". Despite that, I spent multiple times trying to take my own life.

Almost a year ago, the opportunity to live in another country was given. At first I didn't know if I would be able to do it, but a month later I arrived, I met who we'll call Sally in this blog and thanks to her I started living my life from scratch. Sally offered me her hand from the first moment we met, from helping me fill out forms to offering me to live with her.

I know it can be scary when someone trusts you so much without wanting something in return, but it never felt that way with her and I'm so thankful she's part of my life now. I know it sounds cliché and I've never been a fan of clichés. However, if Sally had never shown up in my life, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now in my new home.

My family and friends always ask me if I miss my family or my life there. I was afraid to be honest and say "no, not at all" before, since they end up giving me a look of contempt or as if I were ungrateful for what I had there or how I prefer living with a stranger than with my family. The thing is they didn't live with me then and they don't live with me now, so I don't care what they think about me anymore.

If I don't love my family? Of course I love them. I just believe that the distance was necessary to value us as a family, but at the same time to realize that it is better to be distanced, since that way we hurt each other less. How? As simple as not answering a text or hanging up the call. I have never felt so happy and loved for being who I am without the need to pretend or show appearances like I used to do. I love my new home, I feel no fear in it.