Geez...

I haven't made a blog post in 7 months

Let's start with how the main goals for this year are going. Which were just to do better in school and at being organized and a functioning adult, to plan a nice celebration for my 30th birthday, and reading.

Well, school's kind of a bust momentarily for financial reasons, but I have been working on being more organized and functional. Since right before I turned 30, I feel like I've been more motivated and had more energy to better myself in a way that I hadn't been previously. 

I had been trying for years to get a set routine only to find that, that is literally impossible with people around almost all the time (and I'm not even talking about my kids). I now have 30 years of experience unlocked, and I've definitely been losing my mind and super depressed recently. Dealing with my family being, well, themselves and everything I aspire not to be. As well as regular, "I just turned 30 and haven't accomplished everything I had expected to by now," feelings. Not to mention that my car got totaled while stopped at a stop sign while I wasn't anywhere near it, but I'm coming out of it now.

On the up side, I got my 3yo in daycare, and her brother and sister are in daycare for the summer. Their father was the one driving when my car got totaled and got enough money from the insurance for injuries to get himself a beater (which I've been using while dealing with the insurance for my car). Just got the check for my car, so as soon as I'm able to cash it I can see if anything I had saved is still available.

With everyone gone part of most days, it's given me time to properly clean up, start building some small routine that can be moved around if needed, eat a little better. Not to mention tiny things that I've picked up about myself along the way that have helped a ton. For instance, I've come to find that going to sleep at the same time every night just isn't something that's doable for me, but that doesn't matter. As long as I can get myself up to do what needs to be done first thing in the morning, I can check my fitbit and take a nap later to catch up on whatever sleep I need to get through the rest of the day.

On to the topic of my birthday, it was alright. A few people came over to drink and chill. The day before, food stamps hit. Keep in mind, no one had a car at this point. I have a big blue beach wagon and live about a five minute drives out of town from the closest walmart. I was going to have food and bake a cake for my birthday, so I prepared myself with my wagon, a bandana, straw hat, sunglasses, and earbuds and walked.

The way there wasn't so bad, though I could've done without the stares and scoffs as if I'd pulled it out of my car in opposition to using a cart while I was there. The walk back, that was rough. I got to where it would've been about a 15 to less than 30 minutes walk if I could only make it to the top of a giant hill when some kind man stopped and offered me a ride the rest of the way. I wasn't about to refuse.

The most enjoyable part of my birthday was after I got home from the grocery store and gave myself the full spa treatment. Plus, my grandparents and one of my friends gave me birthday money, so I got myself a pastel, galaxy blanket hoodie, a couple new pairs of sunglasses (since my other ones keep breaking), a galaxy one of those reverse umbrellas where the wet part closes on the inside, a hardwood walking stick, and some reusable water balloons for my kids.

I can't say I've read as much as I would like to, but I am definitely getting to a better, higher functioning state of mind. I did also listen to an entire audio book today and was actually able to listen to it without constantly zoning out. I feel like I got a lot out of it, and I'm looking forward to what we can do tomorrow.