So lonely

I have no friends here, and ive never had a relationship before. I have the social skills of a rock, and i feel like im gonna push anyone interested in me away. I never had any friends growing up, and the people in my life who claimed to be my friends backstabbed me constantly and treated me like an autistic lolcow. I've been falsely accused of planning a school shooting in high school, so I left that high school. I isolated myself with online high school, and then college rolled around. I realized how miserable I was almost immediately, and that void in my heart never left me despite making some friends in college. I quickly devolved from a troubled yet friendly guy into a full edgelord with a trench coat and waifu pillow. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm a waste anyway. I feel like I'm drowning in my own apathy and loneliness. I just want to be loved, but I accepted that it's never gonna happen. I gave up on myself long ago.