What is LOVE? How do you show you love someone.

 this question has been hanging on my mind the past couple of day's, or maybe years. 

   Everyone has their own love language, how you want to be loved/ what makes you feel like your loved. But what if someone knows your love language and doesn't  notice the pain they are causing when they ignore your signs. 

A little snippet about myself, I have Borderline Personality Disorder, intense feelings of abandonment whether they are perceived or real. 

If you're interested in studying the minds of "crazy girls" you've come to the right blog 

Any way's, back to the topic

I have been with my boyfriend, on and off, for almost 5 years, he knows my love language, he knows what I want, but he always follows threw with his love language. Don't get me wrong, it's helpful, but I crave affection, cuddles, and kisses. The only time he kissed me yesterday was once, before we turned on our own sides of the bed, with our own blankets, and went to sleep.

So what is love? Is it staying with someone no matter how much crap they put you threw? Is it following threw with knowing their love language and providing the attention they deserve? Is it just simply growing old together despite differences? Is love purely decided on your destiny? How can you tell if it's love or lust?

My problem is I've gained weight, and a lot of it since we've had children. I can tell he doesn't look at me the same. Doesn't cuddle me the same. But he say's his feelings have never changed. And if that is so..... then that mean's it's my bpd making me feel that way.  But that's also a form of gaslighting, which he has been known to do in the past. Nobody is perfect. 

 By Google's definition, when typing in "what is love"