Meet Kyra Jade and read her story! ⚠️Possible Trigger Warning⚠️

The Unexpected

I went into my final appointment on May 30th, 2017 at 1:45 pm. They checked my blood pressure, which ended up being high for the first time ever. As I was waiting in the room for my doctor, Dr. Coffey comes in and informs me that my blood pressure was high and it was too high for it to be just my excitement. She checked Kyra's heartbeat, which was a perfect 155. She told me, just to be safe, after my appointment I should go to Tennova and get some blood work done to make sure it wasn't preeclampsia or anything else that would not be good for Kyra.

I went to the hospital immediately after the appointment was over, which took no more than 10 minutes. Once I made it up to labor and delivery, I told them what I was there for, and they ended up giving me a room just in case I needed it after the results came back. I was told to get my hospital gown on and a belly band so they could monitor Kyra as I was waiting for the results to come back.

Results came back with nothing that was worrying to them, but they still admitted me in and decided that we would start induction. They said that with every contraction I was having, she showed some decels in her heart rate. They wanted to be safe and not wait for my actual induction day just 2 days later.  They started the Pitocin drip. Dr. Barton came in and checked out what was presented to him as far as Kyra's heart rate the past few minutes during my contractions. Maybe 5 minutes after the Pitocin was started, Dr. Barton informed me that it would be safer to do a c-section since her heart rate kept dropping with each of my contractions. These contractions, I never felt what-so-ever. Pitocin was stopped.

Ryan comes in from work and we inform him of what has been decided. Within minutes, things started changing very drastically at this point with Kyra's heartbeat dropping faster. It became apparent that an emergency c-section had to be done. They had no time to give me an epidural or spinal block. They had no time to give me numbing medication for the catheter, they just apologized to me, warning me that the catheter was going to be painful going in. I braced myself and took a deep breath and then I hear, "Ok, the catheter is inserted." I literally felt nothing. I didn't even flinch, Ryan's mom can confirm this as she was with us, me, this whole time.

Once the catheter was in, they began to roll me down to the operating room, at which point Kyra's heartbeat dropped to 55. I started crying because the nurse informed me that Kyra was in the best hands and that this just got real serious.

Ryan was asked to wait in another room by the operating room, he was already robed up and ready to be by my side, however, by my side he was not. They put me under anesthesia immediately and within a few minutes, they were able to get Kyra out, at which time they knew she did not have a heartbeat. Ryan had no clue what was going on, all he could hear was the running around by all the doctors and nurses and the crazy commotion. The next thing he knew, the doctor came into the room where he was waiting and said, "I'm sorry, we are still trying to resuscitate your daughter." No one had even gone into the room to tell him anything else before that, so his mind was blown.

Kyra's Birthday

Kyra Jade Susskin was born on May 30th, 2017 at 5:38 pm, weighing 7 lbs 9 oz and measuring 21 inches long. She was born without a heartbeat and remained without a heartbeat for 26 minutes. Doctors fought to get her to take her first breath and succeeded. That being said, being without oxygen for that long, we knew that her brain suffered a traumatic brain injury. The doctors immediately put her in a cooling box in order to slow down and prevent any further brain damage. They brought her in to see us and let us quickly take a few pictures and rushed her out to Vanderbilt hospital.

Kyra's Journey

June 1st, Ryan and I checked out of Tennova hospital and drove to Vanderbilt hospital to see Kyra Jade. We already knew what we were in store for as far as how she was doing and what to expect as far as information no parent wants to hear. Once we made it to her room, we were greeted by an amazing team of doctors and nurses who were taking care of her while we were in Clarksville. 

We also decided to let her participate in a study on the first day she arrived at Vanderbilt hospital, where they were testing the effects of a medication when paired with using the cooling procedure. We had no idea whether she had received the placebo or the real medication, as this was a double-blind study - meaning no one knew which she had received. She was only able to participate in it for 2 days.

The doctors then walked us to a private room and began to tell us what we already knew, there was a 100% chance that she would have Cerebral Palsy but to what extent, no one would know until she grew up. We had a pretty good feeling, that with 26 minutes of no oxygen to her brain, the odds were not in her favor. She would also more than likely have epilepsy and seizures her entire life and odds were she would be completely dependent and that was just not the life we wanted for our beautiful, perfect princess.

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Some may not agree with our decision, we ask that you please keep your thoughts on the matter to yourself, as it was not easy for us to make this decision and it hurt our souls to know that she would not be able to live the happy life we had planned for her.

The Decision

After talking with the neurological doctors, and hearing the facts and their opinions, it was pretty clear that we were all on the same page with the decision we needed to make. It was with an extremely heavy heart, and enough tears to raise the ocean levels, that we decided to remove all treatment, make her as comfortable as possible, and give her all the love she could possibly receive. After making this decision, we also decided that we wanted to see if she was eligible for her to donate anything to help some other baby out. At the time, she was eligible to donate her heart valves. This was exciting news because we knew that this is how Kyra Jade would live on, by being some other family's miracle.

Kyra's Journey cont.

Vanderbilt hospital provided a room for us in the Children's Hospital where Kyra was currently, so we did not need to worry about hotels or the Ronald McDonald house. Once we walked into the room, we waited for our bundle of joy to arrive so we could hold her for the first time.

No one knew how long she would last once she was taken off of all support, so we were prepared to say our goodbyes at any moment. Once she finally arrived at our room, we immediately went to hold her, kiss her, hug her, and say her name as much as we could. All of this was, as expected, accompanied by more tears.

After all the nurses and doctors finished everything they needed to do and all of our paperwork was filled out, we made ourselves at home in that room and continued to love on Kyra Jade. We talked to her. We shared stories with her. We made jokes with her. We watched Cupcake Wars with her. We laughed with her.

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On June 12th, 2017, we decided that we were ready to take her home.

Going Home

June 13th, 2017, we woke up and started our journey taking her home. We knew this was going to be hard because we knew that this meant she would pass on in our home. 

Once we arrived home, we were able to put her in her bassinet. She was able to use her swing. She hung out with mommy and daddy in our game room. She hung out in our laps any chance we got. We had many conversations together. She got many kisses, of which she would give mommy a dirty look after about the 10th one in a row.

All this time, she was hooked up to a pulse oximeter so that we could keep an eye on her stats. As we seen her progress declining, we were able to see patterns in her heart rate and oxygen levels. At first, her levels were dropping slowly. Then we started seeing her become much more uncomfortable. At the time, she was only getting Keppra every 12 hours and Ativan whenever she was uncomfortable and restless. Eventually, the Ativan was not doing the job it needed to in order to keep her comfortable. Eventually, we had to add in Morphine to her regimen. 

Even with the addition of Morphine, her stats were still steadily declining and her last night was the hardest on us to watch her in pain. No parent should have to go through this.

June 17th, 2017, Kyra Jade passed away at 4:00 pm. She lived and was loved for 18 days. Our perfect princess, our daughter, was finally without pain and suffering and grew in her angel wings.