Question from the queer community

okay so whenever I try to ask anywhere else I'm shut down or rules are cited or the talk devolves into something else. I figured maybe I try here, do hear me out:

I am a muslim and in Islam, there is no margin for any act of homosexuality. even children are taught about the people of Lut who where destroyed because of several things including homosexuality.

I wanted to try to understand why. I think you'd understand why this is a difficult topic to discuss with both the muslims and the queer community (mainly because both often dont want it to be questioned).

I have understood most of it I think, theres like 1 puzzle piece left: are feelings or urges of homosexuality natural? because here if its part of fitrat or not matters.

I will share what I do know to best of my understanding: there is a proper societal system setup in Islam such that everyone can live normal fulfilling lives -- the religious motivation for this is that when people have their basic needs met, they have the leverage to understand more about the universe and acknowledge existence of God. Part of this setup is prevention of problems like infidelity and fruitless entanglements etc and setup of good system that promotes happy marriages and continuation of society. This is held up by rules like no dating, coinhabitance, any form of relations outside marriage, rules about marriage, what standards to keep, what roles each person has in marriage etc

**here on forth im writing to best of my knowledge. it is not citeable truth or source, just my limited knowledge**

homosexuality breaks this system in several ways:

one being, you can't be close friends with people you are allowed to marry. this has already been established multiple times, men and women can't be 'just friends' and close friends. In Islam, you aren't even allowed to touch a person you can marry, means not even handshakes.

now if people were allowed to marry anyone regardless of gender, this means they cant have close friends outside of immediate family. this heavily restricts one's social circle and will be quite harmful. the world's biggest feats were achieved by brotherhood and sisterhood amongst humanity, for example the migration to Yathrib, the brotherhood of Muhajireen and Ansar. all of this is not possible or at least heavily hindered if homosexuality was allowed.

two being roles in a marriage. as you know the traditional system setup and ongoing since forever is that men provide and protect, they are breadwinners of the household and they physically protect their families and are a safe home for them. And women are the caretakers that emotionally uphold the household, maintaining relations and the societal standing of the family, and they also spend significantly more time raising the children and maintaining environment of the house. they also socially protect their families and apparently maintain budget.

now these roles are defined based on biological, physical and psychological differences between men and women (or vice versa)

e.g. men have a daily hormonal cycle, while women have a monthly one.

women have a more emotion-heavy childlike psychology that allows them to empathize with children more, while men have a more logic based personality allowing them to maintain the family

men are physically stronger

etc..

homosexuality breaks this system in *many* ways:

the roles are obfuscated and not defined. bearing children is not naturally possible. physical relations such as sodomy are medically harmful. etc

as for the children thing .. one would say why not adopt .. well you dont even need to be married to adopt to begin with, but the child will probably not grow up with as complete a family or getup as a straight family.

so one theory i had is, homosexuality was never part of nature just like gender dysphoria and is a result of varied factors like trauma, media or other things.

I have also heard the claim that straight camps never worked which is believable, I dont think people discuss on this level even in those camps

I have i think, heard that no gay person has become straight again. well what if they just go by assumption that they are bi.

my theory was that maybe people from queer community dont know enough about marriage etc and all that I mentioned above.

I talked to a gay person on discord about this. He didnt react well to me trying to 'guess why he's gay' so I talked about transgenderism instead and didnt mention homosexuality again. his argument was that its simply natural and there is nothing wrong with changing gender etc... which i argued against and i also mentioned the roles by gender and how important it is, that it is actually an element of society and not just he/she pronouns etc, and how transgenderism isnt natural. that brought up some points from him i didnt understand, such as something being natural is just natural, it cannot be explained (it can, and I showed that from the very examples he gave)

further into the debate i found he doesn't know about the marriage system in Islam and antagonizes Islam for just interfering in a 'personal' aspect of life, even though a family, a marriage, is the most elementary and important building block of society. and his arguments were self contradicting and had holes like cheese and the debate eventually devolved into him openly defending and encouraging being promiscous and 'sleeping around for experience before settling'

honestly I gave up at that point, and really that debate made me think homosexuality is definitely not normal and is a symptom of insanity. And that he doesn't want straight marriage because he doesn't know anything about it (based on how he himself described it, which is something like, women demanding money to buy purses and men just working for money, which is obviously very off) However, that is a tall conclusion on just one sample so.. here I am.

I wanted to ask, what makes you think homosexuality is normal? and how is it normal? do homosexual people actually want someone of same gender and same associated roles of society in a marriage, or they dont even know the roles of gender in society? or is it just physical attraction? if so, why go solely based on physical attraction?