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I am pretty fucking sure I tell the truth to everyone, but lately I question if I am lying to myself about being honest. I don’t think people believe I’m genuine- should I just quit?
I think my communication skills are trash, sometimes the things I say sound like gibberish to others but I am so sure of what I am saying I question if I even speak the same language as the people around me, they give each other looks more often as if I am stupid (there she goes again.) And I am not seeing things, everybody does this to me, no matter how many friends I make.
I have tried so many times to sit down and be serious with them about this concern, I don’t think they realize how serious I can be.
It’s got to be an issue that’s with me, if so tell me how to fix myself?
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Primal
I think if your friends aren't listening to you when expressing your concern of them thinking your stupid or if what you're saying to them makes sense. Then I think you may need to cut those 'friends' off, as communication is key.
It sounds like you're communicating your thoughts and feelings to people who aren't communicating back, maybe they don't care? Regardless, it sounds like your concerns are falling upon deaf ears - even more so if its making you feel like you're the problem.
I'd consider looking for perhaps better friends as these ones don't sound like they'd be people I'd want as my friends.
Keep your head up <3
I have been thinking of cutting them off too- I am just seeing the red flags, it’s just I will be searching forever, bc this is the 5th friend group I made, I wish I could just fix something about me and ignore some stuff like most normal people. thx for the reply tho!
by RubyIsDead; ; Report
Yeahh I get you. I'm sure you'll make some new friends y'know. It's always good to look at ways to self improve, but in regards to you saying ignoring some stuff (I assume you mean, ignore the fact that what they're doing is hurting you) I think it'd be abnormal to ignore that sort of stuff.
Also 'Normal' is a weird term, as I believe no one's normal, we all have our own quirks and kinks, its what makes us human, and makes us unique. So I'd try to not think like that.
by Primal; ; Report
thank you primal <3
by RubyIsDead; ; Report
Ian
I don't know who you are or how you act but I guess it depends on if you're referring to your online friends or IRL friends.
If it's IRL friends, I'm not sure I can help without proper context. But if it's online friends, maybe it's because everything you do and say is filled with too much irony, so that once you try to be honest they don't believe you.
If you believe that everything you say is sincere and genuine, then ask your friends if they think of your comments as serious or as a joke. Because a real friend is going to focus right on you and tell you that "Yes, you can be serious with me."
i always beg them to be honest, they say they take me serious but they don’t, at least their actions never seem to show. they really hurt my feelings esp bc I feel ignored mentally.
by RubyIsDead; ; Report
i also let them know their ignorance has hurt me, but they only seem to get mad and say it’s not their fault, wich I kinda get, bc they don’t have to feel like they gotta change for me, but I just wish they could be a bit nicer
by RubyIsDead; ; Report
(this is all irl btw, I understand internet friends can misunderstand eachother sometimes. also I tend to work out stuff online better than irl)
by RubyIsDead; ; Report
Communication is a key part in any friendship. While your feelings are just as important as anyone else's, it's also important to acknowledge the other side of the fence. As long as they're talking to you, you aren't being ignored. And if you keep saying "are you taking me seriously? can I trust that you're taking me seriously?", that can have the reverse effect and they'll start taking you less seriously.
Everyone handles communication in different ways from each other. My advice would be to just talk with them as you normally would and assume that they're being serious with you. Just give it some time is what I'm saying. If they're laughing, they're not trying to make fun of you, it might just be a reflex for them to respond. Talking is hard.
by Ian; ; Report