pater - poem

I wish that you would love me like I was ten again 

Like I didn't need to be anything but your child. 

I want to be cuddled and coddled again

I need the softness and the grace and the comfort that only little kids can have. 

I don't know when you decided I didn't deserve any of that anymore

When you decided I should not even receive a kind tone of voice 

That you would always need anger to face me

But I would so fast take back whatever it was I did that changed who I am to you 

Just let me be your baby again

I'm not strong enough now and I never have been

Give me kindness that only a father can

(wow i love daddy issues and posting about trauma on the internet)