1 | i'm alive

i find one hand on my throat 

holding my head up like a pedestal,

but the pressure pushing the walls of the opening closed

is definitely not that of a stand.

the other hand is on the hilt of the knife

gripping in such a passionate way

as if the knife were my dying father

and I was watching his life flash before his eyes.

the point of the knife

is right dead center of the back of my neck

if it were to push any further forward

it would hit my throat in a way that would kill me instantly

my hands cannot stay apart for long. 

as soon as my hands push close i will have no chance to watch the hands come together

in deadly matrimony. 

i drop the hand and the knife. 

facinatingly, i’m alive.