conjunctions & recently

the last week or so has been really nice !

i feel like not much has been going on, but i don't know if that's actually true, or if i've just gotten into enough of a routine that the cool stuff feels like it blends into the background

work has been really lovely. i adore my team, and it's so nice to interact with the public ! we tabled at a little fourth of july fair and taught people how to make rope (+ some friendship bracelets and paracord bracelets), and it was so much fun to make so many little kids and even adults so happy

i met these really sweet old lesbians when a stud and her butch approached a little set up we had (and i was manning) that taught people how to tie some common sailor's knots and had rope to practice with. the stud tied a clove hitch faster than any white guy or little kid with too much pride to ask for help that i'd seen, surprising and impressing her butch who remarked that she was really good at that.

when the stud started untying the knot for the next person, her butch walked away, and she leaned over and told me that "people doubt your skill set." it was obviously playful toward her butch, but there was still some genuine feeling under it. i felt like she was reminding me that i need to be sure of my skills, 'cause everyone else will doubt that i have them

it was a quick interaction, and i wish i'd had more. i grew up with a lot of support around my queerness, but i still feel so lost in some ways. i wish i had a bigger community of queer elders, y'know? we have so much to learn from them

anyway, during the evening on the 4th, my dad and i took a small boat out onto the river to watch fireworks and eat snacks and listen to music. we've never been big 4/7 celebrators, but it was honestly a very nice way to spend the holiday night

we didn't stay out too long, either, since i had work the next day, but it was more than enough to enjoy ourselves

i'm not sure what else has been going on. i got onto mastodon a week or two ago, but i only started really using it recently, when a post of mine musing about how community feels hard to really create on mastodon got a weird amount of attention. it's actually surprisingly lovely, though it has a bit of an older (and tech-based) userbase. people actually interact & encourage & show care for one another. it's refreshing and nice

i miss my dog (athena) a lot, being away from home. i'm not someone who misses things or people or whatever a lot throughout the day-- i tend to be pretty focused on whatever i'm doing/is happening-- but when i think about things, it makes me a little sad that i can't snuggle athena

she's such a needy little sweetheart, and i miss her bodyweight across my chest

exploring the city has been a really cool experience. i always thought i'd hate east coast architecture, and don't get me wrong, it's certainly not my favorite, but i like it surprisingly more than expected. it looks less dull than in the photos, i guess

seeing all the incredibly old, beautiful architecture like cool churches with tall spires with huge skyscrapers filling the sky behind them is so cool to me. the conjunction of history and modernity makes me think about a lot

there's so much that's different between here and where i'm from. i never hear people speaking european languages back home. i barely ever see any indians back home, either. the dogs are all small here. the accents are so cool and different. it all throws me off, but in a good way. i like noticing things, and i hope that i'll build the habit of noticing things around here enough that it'll transfer when i go back home

i've always considered myself observant and perceptive, but i feel especially so, here

i want to submit to a zine-type-thing this month, so i might post some drafts and definitely the final poem here if i do ! it's gonna be at least vaguely about wolves, as the theme of the zine requests, so... look forward to that, i guess !

i hope all y'all are doing wonderfully. please feel free to share any thoughts or tell me about how you're doing !

𓅭 𓅮 𓅯

sending well wishes & worthwhile (ad)ventures

- xalli