A love letter to feminine trans guys

Being a feminine trans guy is a trip, I'll tell you that.

For any trans guys, trans mascs, or questioning people who are feeling like they need to hide their femininity to be a "proper" trans masc, its all bullshit sweetie, you're okay.

For me, a lot of my trans journey was actually accepting the fact that I was a feminine man. I always knew I wasn't cis, and that I wanted to be a boy. But I felt that because I liked traditionally feminine things, like dresses, makeup, the color pink, etc. I wouldn't have the right to call myself a man. So I didn't.

But we all know how trying to force yourself back into the denial closet tends to go.

So, when I did actually accept the fact that I was trans, I decided to closet another side of myself, which was my naturally feminine side. I completely did a 180 in terms of aesthetics. I would rather light myself on fire than be forced into a dress. Wearing makeup made me want to rip my skin off, all that stuff. But that didn't make me happier, or even feel like I was in the right body. I still felt a lot of dysphoria, even when I was embracing the fact that I was transmasculine.

It was only this year that I started to embrace the feminine sides of myself, and I realized that I was more happy, and confident with myself, than I ever had been before. I actually felt like I had a solid grasp on who I was in terms of gender identity. I tried so long to be the traditional version of masculine, but then I realized that super masculine boys are not the only type of boys that exist.

There are so many boys who wear makeup, dresses, high heels and skirts. Many men are flamboyant and feminine, but that doesn't make them any less of a man. I remember thinking "man, I wish I could be one of those feminine boys" well news flash, you can.

There's a really toxic part of the trans community that enforces the idea that you have to COMPLETELY conform to being only masculine or only feminine to "earn the right" to call yourself trans if that makes any sense. If you're a feminine transmasc, then you're just a woman who wants special attention.

That is COMPLETE horseshit.

Gender is all made up in our heads. It's a social construct. Clothing doesn't have gender, fabric colors don't have gender, makeup doesn't have gender, none of it does. If you're a trans guy, and you want to lean back into your feminine side, then go for it. Don't let anybody stop you. You can be a feminine trans guy, you can be a masculine trans girl. Being masculine or feminine doesn't make you any less trans. You have a right to express yourself in the way that makes YOU feel the most comfortable. If anyone tells you otherwise, tell them to fuck off.

Case in point;

Being feminine does not make you any less of a boy, and being masculine does not make you any less of a girl. <3