cali diary

hello blog :3 long time no see.. and by long time i mean a few weeks lol

im in california with some family in our little vacation home in the middle of nowhere. weve been coming here for a long time, since I was little, but now we have 3 new additions to the crew (my step mom and my two halfsisters). it’s a very interesting feeling.. it’s the first time in a while that we’ve all been together like this, and it’s probably the best I’ve felt about it. when my dad told me a few years back that he would be having more kids, i was shocked. I wasn’t sad, or angry, i was just amazed that i wouldn’t be the youngest anymore. i think all the emotions surrounding my dad building a new family all settled in after he initially told me, and even now im not sure how to feel about it all. but, i think his new wife and his new kids are wonderful and it’s fun having two little sisters. they’re crazy little things.

for the last two days, one of our cousins has stayed with us. they’re from Portland but have been working near the place we’re staying for about a month now. and it’s been a really nice time having them so far! they use they them pronouns and a different name than the one my family usually calls them by, and the fact my brother is okay with that let me know that he would probably be okay if i came out and said i was trans. still, i don’t know if im ready for that yet… 

i miss my partner! after playing house with them in college for 9 months my routine got a little messed up when i had to go away for the summer. he is deeply dear to me.. they make me feel grounded in a way that i haven’t ever before. i feel like a real “adult” when I’m with them, like my future is mine and that i can look forward to the unknown, even though it is the unknown. i should be able to see them after I come home, though <3

ive been slowly but surely working on attacks for art fight.. mostly just revenge attacks, but that’s fine with me! it surely motivates me when a lovely artist decides to draw my character — makes me want to draw for them in return. i sketched out a scene for one of the revenges I have and i really wanna go out of my comfort zone and paint something for once.. or atleast render it. exciting stuff!!

anyways, im happy to be here. it’s a good time so far and i love the outside. i even got a pretty bad sun burn on my back from being on the lake for too long without sunscreen… woops :P