How I Blew 25-Dollars, Or 8000 Robux for Drama, Dismay, and… Pancakes?

Hey there! It’s Lev, your resident teenage daydreamer, and an unapologetic Roblox addict. Today, I'm going to spill the tea about how I spent a wallet-busting 8000 Robux (that's 25-ish real-world dollars, mind you!) on a parody IHOP game on Roblox. Yeah, you heard that right. A virtual, stack-of-pancakes, iHop wannabe wonderland is where I decided to invest my precious time and hard-earned digital currency.

I mean, who wouldn't want to be a high-ranking officer in a Roblox cafe game? I was obsessed with these games, playing them endlessly just to... get fired for a grammar slip-up. Yeah, the irony isn't lost on me. But I wasn't content being just another server in the sea of syrupy stacks. Nah, I had big dreams, friends. I wanted to be THE laid-back, chill manager. The one who everyone admires, you know? Like, "Oh my gosh, she's so chill! She's such a ray of sunshine!" So, I did what any aspiring Roblox café manager would do: . Two hours a week, for about three months, I hosted sessions every week for those adorable, pancake-loving kids to attend.

I even came up with these whacky question-of-the-day posts that were a little out there compared to your typical "What's your favorite IHOP dish?" I was throwing curveballs like "Have you ever tasted your own tongue?" and "Who's your weirdest fictional crush?"I mean, how many times can one possibly answer "What do you like about IHOP?" without wanting to scream into the digital void?

But apparently, my humor was like serving a well-done steak at a vegan convention - it didn't go down well. People looked at me like I'd grown a second head, and I got told off for my 'unique' sense of humor.

And then, the plot thickens. As if being the manager wasn't enough, I also volunteered to be a moderator (that's right, FOR FREE, because I'm just that generous). But things took a sour turn when I accidentally warned a super-high-rank player about breaking the rules. The next thing I know, she sent me a barrage of threatening DMs, told me that a lower rank like me had no business telling her what to do. She even got her friend to revoke the warning. Talk about an ego trip, right? Then came the mass moderator firing. No warning, no explanation. Just the discovery that the owner and his crew were cancelled and since we could see all of their chatlogs.. Well, y'know.

But the cherry on top of this Roblox rollercoaster? My birthday. I put out a birthday-themed question-of-the-day, not-so-subtly hinting it was my special day. And guess what? Not a single 'Happy Birthday' was thrown my way. Just cricket noises. Yet, a co-worker who worked just as hard as me had a whole private server thrown a birthday party. I was invited, but let's just say my RSVP got lost in the mail. I mean, why bother? Everyone was like 13 and I quickly realized that trying to be cool and likable was not only draining but also kind of pointless, especially when you're as much of an antisocialite as me.

Now, let me backtrack a bit and introduce my best friend, a Roblox enthusiast who’s been knee-deep in the trenches of military groups. He told me these groups often lack authenticity and tend to start new ones when they are no longer profitable. My optimistic self ignored his warning, only for him to have the last laugh when IHOP morphed into a whole new entity, ISHOP, a shopping mall of all things! There he was, doubled over in laughter, while I was left to pick up the pieces of my pancake-dusted dreams. My other friends and I even considered reporting the game for copyright infringement (and also because the game owner was, you know, a huge racist with a whole Google Doc written about him). But in the end, we decided it wasn't worth our time or energy.

So, there you have it. The tale of how I went from being a passionate IHOP-loving gamer to a disillusioned ex-player. I didn't make any friends, and I sure as hell didn't find anyone with a stash of funny memes to share. It was a wild ride, but let's just say I won't be dropping any more Robux on high ranks anytime soon.

Well, I'm off to find my next adventure, perhaps in a game that values oddball humor and doesn't require me to sell my soul (or my wallet) for a digital title.

And to think, all I ever wanted was to serve virtual pancakes and make people smile. Is that too much to ask? I guess in the world of Roblox, it is.

pleaser - wallows