Nightmares

I haven’t posted one of these in a long time. I’ve had nightmares in the meantime that I might share but for now I’ll just be sharing the nightmare I had last night.

I don’t remember it very vividly anymore but I woke up Distraught. In my dream I was pregnant with what would be my second baby. I was so happy but I kept it a secret from everyone except my husband. I wasn’t showing yet in my dream so it was easy to hide. I had a glow to me. My husband was also happy. We wanted a girl.

 He was working far from home and so I was home alone with our child. It felt so real and ordinary. My son was in his play pin playing with toys and I decided to take a quick shower. The shower head rained bright red. I was covered in this red substance. I looked like Carry. But within the same moment the water ran clear again. I started to wash my body when I saw blood draining into the drain of the tub. I looked up to see if it was the shower head again but it wasn’t. I checked myself and saw that I was bleeding. I screamed and in the distance I could hear my son scream and begin to cry. 

I don’t remember getting out the shower or putting on clothes but I remember holding my baby crying. My mother and brother came to my side and asked me what was wrong and I told them I lost my baby but they didn’t believe me. They told me it’s all a bad dream. They hugged me while I held my son in like a group hug. 

Then I woke up. 

I felt awful. 

I held my husband close Before he had to get up for work because it just felt so real and depressing. 

My mind is my own worst enemy.