losing my religion (poem)

i used to think my father was God.

i used to think that He created everything,

that He knew what i did when i was alone,

that He watched over me in the dark.

i used to think He was the universe's voice and that His words were the words of the world.

i used to think He ruled the earth with the holy hands of fate.

i used to think that all encounters were meticulously orchestrated,

that every question had a satisfying answer,

that life existed within some three-act structure.

i used to think that balance existed without chaos, yin without yang, and that sureness would come to me with age.

i used to believe in something, in someone,

but then i learned that my father is a person,

a mortal man with a mortal life,

a candle that will one day go out,

bones that will one day grow cold.

i used to believe that my father was God,

but he is just my father.

'just' my father.

he is my father.

a tiger's eye may sit heavy in your palm,

cool and smooth and ever changing.

turned this way and that, bands of honey and gold and all things beautiful exist inside it.

it is perfect and it is worthless,

and maybe it is God.

-

"if there's a god in the sky or a devil below,

that doesn't matter to me,
'cause i see satan's face when i look in the mirror,
i see god inside all of the people i meet"

-free bird, ajj