My Attachment (wip)

I will always find myself going back, no matter how much i have, no matter how much i’ve changed, I will always go back to that night, to that hill, to you.

And I will never forget how much you’ve made me feel, how it felt to look at you so close yet so out of my reach, it hurts yet I couldn't bring myself to call it pain cause it was you, 

You were mesmerizing, that night, in the rain, in the waves of the beach. I could never pull my eyes away from you, I never tried to, cause again you were out of my reach so all I  could do was look and admire you from afar

I always think about your touch, the way you hold me, your arms holding mine, your lips touching mine, your forehead against mine,and how i can never be able to touch you, how i hadn't and how i never will 

To know that no matter what i do, you and i could never be together, to know is harder than to accept because my mind knows yet my hearts still keeps yearning and looking for you

I still search for you in everything I do, in every little thing that I have, in every place I go to. I still search for you even though i know i’ll never be able to find you

That night in the beach, i kept thinking of you, the way the waves hit the shores exactly as you said they would, the way the ocean glowed beautifully under the moon, the way the cold wind would be, everything there reminded me of you in ways i didnt even think was possible

I still stay up late at night and imagine your hands around mine, the way you’d smile at the little things, the way you’d look at me, the way you never could hide how you felt, the way any type of water activity always made you excited, i never could look away from you 

Even now i cry about you and i always feel dumb about it, cause i know you dont like seeing me cry, you’d brush away my tears and hold my face,the way you held me in ways i wish you still do, look at me in ways no one ever could, make me feel like no one ever will

I’m haunted with the thought of how we were and how we could’ve been