Dedication

I hope you choke on your own spit and fucking die.

I hope when you think of me, your face goes all red like you've just run a mile. Your lungs collapse in on themselves and your heart races so fast that you think you might need to admit yourself into the ER.

And I hope you hate every second of it.

For once in my life I understood he had something. And I hated it. I hated the way he looked at you and I hated the way you looked at him. I hated the way you told me about him as if we aren't who we are to each other.

You, my friend, are a bitter pill. One that nobody with half a mind will think to swallow. 

You led him to that doubt. That hate. You objectified. And this isn't about him. It's not about us. It's about you.

I hope you're terrified of me.

I hope you find this. And you read it, and you feel like you're gonna puke. Because you know I'm right about everything.

You are one dehumanizing freak. The thought of you makes my brain twist up, trying to wrap around how you could be just as terrible as you are.

I hope you read this one day and write me a response. I want you to rip into me like you did to him for months on end. I want you to make me feel like I was wrong.

I want to believe you are good.

This one is to you, R.