poems #1

context: after 8 years, I'm going to see my dad again and going to my childhood home tomorrow. I want to express what I feel in a few, short poems/paragraphs I don't know if they're poems, Im not sure how to format a poem. also I don't care if they're bad.


#1 The child I was

I hope when my dogs see me again,
They remember the child I was
Not the adult I've become
I hope they remember all the hugs I gave them,
Not just the last one.

#2 The eternal contradiction

My dad is old. He's commited more wrong than right.
I don't think I can forgive the wrong.
There's still an angry man yelling in my house.
Yet,
I long for the embrace of his warm hugs. 
Yet,
I still have dreams where I scream back. 
where I knock him dead and the blood is on my hands
Yet,
I miss him.

#3 Childhood bed 

As I lay to rest in my childhood bed I turn on the TV
MTV is playing again. It's muffled. It's a lady gaga song.
As the smell of a fried eggs enters the room,
the night stars smile to me, brighter than the usual. 
I hug my pillow and look around only to realize,
I'm 10 years old again and nothing is wrong.
I'm 10 years old again and nothing ever happened.
I am just a kid.
God, let this be another chance to try again.