that feeling of "how in the fuck am i ever gonna get to where they are, can i even survive"

i feel incompetent in general
mainly as a programmer but also a human
i feel like im not ever gonna be qualified to get an internship much less an actual job / apprenticeship though
im also well aware that feeling is literally nonsense but it still plagues me often
every time i see somebody competent or who looks knowledgeable it jusy kinda gnaws at the back of my mind
like i am intending to drop out of uni because i can't afford it
full on internship and certification route
its certainly possible for it to be just as lucrative but unlike a degree, its not rail-roaded
its going to require a great deal more effort on my end as far as planning my life goes
whenever i see my friends talking about recursion problems that go over my fuckin head or about wikipedia pages on "simple comp sci concepts" that are literally 80% calculus and i cant even remotely comprehended
you know that feeling
of "how in the fuck am i ever gonna get to where they are, can i even survive"