Random rant ig?

i have this friend who is an amazing person and i legit love them with all my heart, but sometimes talking to them makes me feel guilty.

They’re one of my only friends who i feel comfortable venting to, or even just talking about personal things in general. But sometimes when we’re talking i feel really guilty because they’ve been through so much as a kid, way more than i ever have and it makes me feel insignificant. I haven’t got many people to talk to about things so i’ve stopped going to them about my personal matters.

it’s not like they’ve personally said to my face that my problems don’t matter or anything, but i’ve seen them talk to me about others and how they think some people are being ungrateful just because their trauma is worse than that of most others.

I have a friend and we’ll call him K, and the friend i’m talking about we’ll call them G.

K comes from a pretty rich family, definitely upper middle class but he’s been through some pretty heavy stuff, as well as bullying and such, but he doesn’t really open up about much aside from just saying he has trauma, he’s told me about it before but not G. G has been through some incredibly rough things, and they aren’t poor or anything but they aren’t as rich as K. A lot of the times G complains to me about how they think K is just spoiled and self centred just because they have money, even though they’re not obligated to open up about their trauma.

Don’t get me wrong, G is a really nice person but sometimes i’m scared they might get a similar impression of me, and because of it i’ve stopped coming to them if i need to vent.

I really love G tho and i don’t want to lose them. Every time something happens between us i always overthink it to an almost unhealthy level and cry about it, and the worst part is it’d usually be over something small and stupid like if i feel like they might be ignoring me if they don’t reply to a text i sent on a group chat where they reply to the others but not so much my texts.

I spiral and think about what i might’ve done wrong and blame myself for things that i probably shouldn’t because they’re completely out of my control.

But they’ve also been there for me when i was at some pretty low points this year and for that i’m forever grateful.

But i’m also scared that maybe they’re not the best for me to hold on to.

I have a tendency to ignore red flags and because of that i’ve been caught in a lot of toxic relationships. They’re a great friend but sometimes i can’t help but hold on to things they’ve said and think that maybe it’s a red flag that i shouldn’t be ignoring. 

For example we once had to do a group discussion for something in school, and when the conversation was getting a bit heated they brought up my parents in a context implying that my words were meaningless because my relationship with my parents was still pretty shit.

It was totally out of context and honestly pretty hurtful since it wasn’t true, and my relationship with my parents was caused due to different reasons, and i didn’t mention their parents or their relationship with them at all.

They apologized afterwards but it still lingers in my mind and ig i sort of count it as a red flag.

I still hang out with G, but should i still keep them as a close friend? or am i just overthinking it?

 feel free to vent in the comment if you need to :)