JORT STORM

This just in, we’re receiving reports that a new fad is taking the nation by storm. Its name: JORTS! But it appears as if this breakthrough in jean-short splicing technology is causing irregular weather patterns all across the globe! 

It’s the warmer season so I can’t wear jeans 

I really like the denim, but not the length of the seam 

My mom dresses caz and my dad likes to preen 

I’m not like either of them I got the recessive jean! 

Jort storm 

Jort storm’s coming tonight 

Jort storm It’s a category 5 

Jort storm 

Jort storm’s coming tonight 

I SAID A JORT STORM'S COMING RUN AND HIIIIIDE 

JORTICANE

JORTNADO

JORTNAMI 

JORTQUAKE 

JORTRUPTION

JORTALANCHE 

JORTPOCALYPSE 

The jort storm’s coming (JORTS) 

So you’d better start runnin'

Fast it’s a chase 

But be careful cause these jorts will chafe you out 

They're the new sensation (JORTS) 

Wear em to every occasion 

Jorts in the pool 

Or even better wear em to a funeral (J-J-J-J-J-JORTS)

My personality is 99% jorts 

I got a genetic test, BUT ALL MY JEANS ARE SHORT 

Jort storm 

Jort storm’s coming tonight 

Jort storm, it’s a category 5 

Jort storm 

Jort storm’s coming tonight 

I TAKE OFF MY FUCKING JORTS I GOT MORE JORTS INSIIIIDE 

Breaking news: Millions of Americans are being sucked directly into the “Jortex.” And it’s headed straight for this studio! To my wife Cheryl and son Timmy, I love- AHHHHHH!

(JORTS) The elders foretold 

(JORTS) Of a fashion so bold 

A new god of Earth (JORTHULU) 

Seal it in denim and turn it into Jearth

(E P I C K A Z O O S O L O)