Oh...

It sucks when you thought you healed a certain part of yourself but then something comes along and easily sets that trigger off. I wasn't planning on feeling down today.

There's a weird history of men ghosting me indefinitely or being silent & not communicating when something's up.

This was a major theme in my last relationship. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells with him. I would say or do something wrong in his eyes and his entire demeanor did a 180 in seconds. I can't count how many times I asked "what did I do? what did I say?".

Fast forward to present day: a close friend of mine who i talk to every day has been distant lately and idk why. I texted my usual good morning to him and usually he texts back but...crickets. 6 hours later I text a sad emoji and...he just opens it. Left me on read.

And instead of poppin off like I would in the past, I haven't said anything. I'm just sittin here. Under a little rain cloud.

Highly considering telling a therapist about this. Asking them why I cling onto people who are nice to me for a moment. And if I feel the attention is fading, I also fade? Wtf, I don't like this. AT ALL.

anyway...

thank you for your time.

x