poem a wrote on a cold winters day (unholy)

I want to go to heaven

Loving someone takes effort, dedication

Devoting your entire life, ignoring your own needs to serve others

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't say anything to my younger self

I'm lost, lost the lord, and lost myself

Knees on the floor begging to be saved

I beg and I cry and I scream

Preach to the angle paintings on my wall, tell them how I'm doing better

But they've seen it all, they know, and I can see the paint chipping off, showing their disgust

Summer when you're a kid, playing in the front yard, sprinklers on

Wasting water, everyone wants to return to childhood

Everyone wants to be happy, I used to love everyone I meet

I write, and I cry, and I starve

I want to destroy myself, chip the paint off my skin and show the world my bones

Show the world what happens to selfish little girls who love too much, they forget how to show it

Lacking self-awareness you can’t tell when you start thinking for yourself when the love in your heart turns to violence

You’ll grow up, and you’ll change

You’ll become a rabid animal stuck, in a cage of someone else's flesh

Feel my ribs and tell me I'm holy

I would give my soul just to feel worthy

Bury my body in angel wings, dress me in blue lace