vent #one

the one thing i hate the most is consuming all my time and energy on a person for them to turn around and shit on my face. i am grateful that it was not a long-term thing otherwise i fear i would be more upset than now. surprisingly, i was not upset at all so it does seem this was not to be yet, it is still devastating. 

to give context, i do not express affection to others as much as i should. i barely do so to my siblings, though that was how we grew up. affection towards a potential love interest is not something known to me. prior to talking to this person, i was talking to another person for close to three months but evidently, ignored the person upon losing interest. i will admit i do crave affection as one should normally do but i guess i will say the reality of affection does frighten me.