Hey there, it's Lev here. If you're a regular reader, you probably know that my life tends to attract a special brand of weird. Today, let's dive into the story of the most magnificent edgelord I've ever met. Grab your popcorn, folks, because it's about to get eccentric.

This saga dates back to five years ago, Middle school, and a burning love for creating fantastical scenarios with my keyboard. This was where I met Salt, my partner in crime and my best friend in the roleplaying realm.

First off, Salt claimed to be Korean. You know, as one does. Except he was, for all intents and purposes, as American as apple pie. But, of course, Salt's invented life didn't stop there. Oh no, he was a massive Tokyo Ghoul fan, to the point he played the opening theme on his boombox so much that I'm fairly sure the lyrics are permanently etched into my brain.. He'd declare with a straight face (or at least, I assumed it was straight; it's hard to tell over the internet) that he was insane, and that was his theme song.

Salt swore up and down that he had half black, half white hair. The reason for his monochrome locks? Apparently, he was tortured in a "special facility" (the details of which were always conveniently vague), and the trauma transformed his hair white. Like some sort of anime character. Now, I don't know about you, but the last time I checked, hair colour doesn't quite work that way. But, hey, who was I to burst Salt's bubble?

His belongings, you ask? Oh, just his dead brother's knife and forty-seven other knives that he'd hide under his coat. Because, why not? His brother supposedly died in a gang fight, with an eye stabbing incident that would make any pirate proud. Salt avenged him by planting three knives into the gang leader's eyes. I mean, I can't even handle a paper cut, and here's Salt going all John Wick on a gang leader. A tragic backstory for an apparently tragic figure. Salt himself got caught with his knives at school thrice and was suspended each time. I guess they really didn't appreciate his dedication to the blade.

Now, you'd think all that would be enough to win the edgelord championship. But, Salt was no ordinary contender. No, he had to go one step further. And then there were the times he "died". You know, normal teenager stuff. He'd be chased by gangs, "die", and then go offline for a while. We'd be left to think that his cousin had taken over his PC. And then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Salt would return, brushing off his "death" like it was a minor inconvenience.

Now, if you've managed to stick with me this far, I commend you. But brace yourself, because it's about to get weirder. Salt claimed to have developed a taste for human flesh. He'd say it was only enhanced by the addition of blood, like some sort of macabre seasoning. The irony? He couldn't stomach blue cheese. Go figure.

I, being the ever curious and somewhat naive friend, asked for pictures of his two-toned hair and his gang escapades. But alas, his phone camera was conveniently broken beyond repair.

The last I heard of Salt, he had evolved into a furry. That’s right, my friends. He got booted out of several RP groups due to his inappropriate behavior. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. I do wonder how he’s doing these days.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of Salt's theatrics. It was always a wild ride, a little splash of madness in my otherwise mundane life. Despite the craziness, or perhaps because of it, Salt and I remained friends.

In the end, I guess it's the Salt's of the world that add a dash of flavor to our lives. They might be weird, but they sure as hell aren't boring. So, here's to the edgelords, the oddballs, the peculiar characters we meet along the way. Life would be a lot less entertaining without them.

Until next time, remember to take life with a grain of Salt. Cheers!