pchan i think im aroace

06/17/23

this is not a coming out blog!! I just think that lately ive had little to no attraction in any relationship ive recently been in... its like no matter how hard the other person tries, theyll never make me feel any butterflies at all! i know it sounds selfish of me, but its like the things ive always wished to recieve from a relationship dont really matter anymore, and i dont feel anything from it, and i try to phrase it in a way the other person can comprehend and understand, but i always end up making them cry. actually i dont know if i can ever feel affection after that one relationship from 7th grade, ive met myself with many boys who can replace him, but i just dont feel the kind of dopamine i got from the guy from 7th grade. i cant say i missed him but its kind of like i gave up on trying to get more love because its just so painful and tiring you know???... 

This is why i rejected a boy a friend introduced me to 5 days into dating,, im just scared to come back to school next year and everyone making fun of me because i turned down the guy that every girl is in love with,, people tell me i lost a big opportunity like i just won the lottery but tbh in the relationship i never really felt any love despite him calling me "princess" and spoiling me with love letters... call me ungrateful but i think ive lost all sense of affection!