Stop telling yourself it'll go away.

So.. I've noticed a pattern not only in other people's relationships, but even in my own marriage where people will convince themselves that like "Oh that little thing I don't like will go away with time", when like.. No. It won't. 

Like my husband (we're newlyweds, but we've known each other since we were kids) is always so exasperated when I want to wear makeup or dress up more in spikes and mesh and a shitload of black, or when I told him I'm not comfortable going out in colorful normie clothes.

He has known this about me since we met. I am goth and I have always had such interests, but he always acts as if I'm going to grow out of it.

Or, the other day, he picked up a bag of what he thought were mystery skittles, but they were the grey pride skittles.

I was *ecstatic*. Not only were they stormcloud grey, but they were pride skittles! I'm nonbinary and demisexual ffs, I love that shit. But he was bashing them the entire time (Also refuses to use my pronouns or anything.. Which like.. fine, but you knew I was nonbinary long before we got together, don't pretend you didn't)

And then I've got more and more to thinking.

So many relationships have this problem. You can love someone until it makes your guts quiver, but as long as you refuse to accept a core part of who they are, they will never fully feel loved.

Since we moved in together, I've stopped wearing makeup as much, and I never really dress up anymore.. My self esteem has absolutely plummeted, and I can't help but think it's because of the way he views everything I used to do to make myself feel like Me.

I know this is partly my fault, I need to communicate how his comments bother me. But at the same time, I have always been like this for as long as he's known me. With all of his complaints about it, it feels more like he settled for me, rather than he actually wanted to be with me.

If you don't like something about your partner, and it's a big part of their identity, don't marry them. Because you aren't fully appreciating them as a person, and you're limiting yourself as well.

Just find someone who checks all of your boxes, and allow them to do the same. It will save you both a lot of stress and heartache.