to my boyfriend

If I could give you a skz song, it'd be one from the new album. ‘Youtiful’, meaning you are beautiful. "cause if you give me a glance I'm sure that I see the universe in your eyes" your eyes are genuinely like billions of galaxies. so gorgeous and dark-toned, a careful selection of colour to perfectly match the godlike construction your face consists of. I don't get how you're so beautiful, you know? just seeing you makes my heart skip and squeeze in joy, and I'm not lying. I'm the most truthful I've been whilst with you. besides my problems, I tell you everything. including stating your attractiveness of both your perfect personality and angelic looks. when I first saw you, your features looked so gentle. soft and sweet, heavenly and bright. pretty eyes and a goddamn perfect nose. kissable full lips resting on a sharp and gorgeous face. celestial freckles placed in rows of perfection that I just can't get enough of. even without knowing you, I had stared and stared and stared. I could never tear my eyes away. the only time I properly could was during eye contact. spooky eye contact with someone so beautiful, instinct to look away even though I could have stared into your eyes forever. I'd be happy to get lost in them, to be lost in something so graceful and elegant is a dream. You're perfect in and out. every insecurity is something that I find handsome and dreamy. every new discovery of your personality is something i find endearing and amazing. 

"you know whenever there's a chance, I will tell you you're amazing as you are" it's true as well. I take any chance I can to make you know I adore and admire every aspect of you. every little thing you find irritating, or weird, not normal or something you wish to rid of your personality. I love. for fucks sake, I love YOU. there are so many small things I can name that make me absolutely crazy for you. you are so special to me, and I love you so so so much. I'm going to do anything I can to let you know you're amazing. you take care of other people so well, even without others asking to. you thought I was a little down today and you didn't dismiss it easily. to be honest, I was very shit that whole day. sorry for lying but yeah!! it's really nice how you knew. to be fair, I didn't shout at teachers that walked past and it was pretty obvious. but only you and poppie actually said something. you were both so sweet about it, and whereas it was dropped easily with a quick smile and wave of my hands, you continued. even after we had gotten home. you HAD to make sure I was fine. that's really sweet of you, and it was so so kind for you to ask if I was sure I was okay. I don't think you know how much I appreciate you. you've fixed me in ways you wouldn't even know, and I don't want to get too into it, but you have. I'm sorry I can never say I love you more than lee know, and I'm sorry when I compare you to my second favourite member in terms of love. and I'm very grateful you understand. he's a massive obsession of mine. I don't get attached to things, but people. kind of weird, but you still actually understand and reassure me.

"don't you ever tell yourself that you're not good enough, I am certain that you're truly fine." if you ever have thoughts you aren't good enough for anything. I'm always here. and don't even try deny it, I don't know a single person that doesn't doubt themselves everyday. I'm just hoping to be the person you wish to come to. whereas I can fix logical situations, and I might not be able to fix your self-esteem with a click of my fingers, I'm not going anywhere with my reassurances. I'm unpacking and I'm staying right here, available any time you need me. I hope you know if you're panicking, worried, scared, remotely depressed or upset, that I'm never unavailable for you. I'm sorry I couldn't defend you in English, and I'm sorry I didn't immediately run after you and give you all the kisses in the world (with permission ofc) but just know if that is what you asked for, I would do it. I would run out there without a second thought, fuck any chance of getting into university, if it meant I could support and encourage you. shower you with praises and words of affection, affirmation, and advice, just to help someone as kind as you out. I'd do genuinely anything for you, you need to understand that. I don't care if you think the setting is going to be more negative during our conversation, just let me know and I'll send the weirdest stickers ever. make it funny, but know when to be serious hm?

"you are a miracle, miracle. you are youtiful." I don't understand what I did to deserve you, I must have saved billions of children from a burning hospital to be able to be with you. you are amazing and so talented. I am full of admiration wheneve you show me a drawing, you're so good at it and I don't get how you think otherwise sometimes. artists are sure to have some bad paintings. but they never let it get to them. imagine picasso calling himself bad because he messed up on a singular part? key word: imagine. because he wouldn't. just because you make a few mistakes whilst painting, or perhaps even looking at it afterwards; you shouldn't let it affect your path. you're so good at what you do and you shouldn't define your possible career just because of a tiny mistake. it may seem hard, you may constantly chastise yourself because of accidental strokes of the equipment you're using. anger slowly bubbling up and becoming known, but you really should try and recognise your mistake, fix it, and smile at the fact you're so fucking good at art. instead of saying that you are only sometimes good at it, when I know for sure you are always improving and increasing your skill.

"you're looking at the mirror, see the tears covered in red. I know that you've been cold this whole time, but now I'm here to make it end." if you ever feel as though your tears are unworthy, stained with impurity or defeat. I will be by your side. There to kiss away any more drops full of hurt. Hold you close to me, cuddle away all your sorrows, hug away all the pain. comfort you endlessly, disregard any others needs. because you are beautiful, so beautiful. no longer necessary to think otherwise. put your trust into me, even if you're weak. I will be there to stack you up again, you can't break man. not when you're so perfect. I'm always here for you, always here to watch you improve, to be able to see moments that make me proud, or sad, in love, or more. I want to share every scenario with you. to be able to watch you as you discover more and more about your life, your path, and your experiences. to be there with you and to share affections with you when we both get a little too emotional for our own good. I love you, don't forget that.