Before I say anything, I want to apologize for how long this will be.
Okay, I don't really know how to start this other than with maybe someone can help me. I just came to terms with my being transgender, long story. Two years ago, I came out as transgender and started going by Ellie. I didn't really have support from family other than my sibling, Averi, my dad, and my uncle. Over time, I quickly realize that I'm unhappy as a trans individual, so I think- try to convince myself that maybe I'm non-binary because I didn't feel like I was male or female. I start calling myself Elliot. Once again, I didn't have the support other than my sibling, dad, and uncle. And once again, over time, I begin to feel unhappy with myself. I begin to feel lost and I forget who I am and I don't know who I'm supposed to be. Before this, it was clear to me who I was supposed to be. Now, I'm not so sure. So, I reintroduce myself as Ellie. I begin to feel happier with myself but I'm still a little unsure. A few months go by, and I feel like I actually am male. I start getting comfortable with it and then I start talking to my mom again (another long story). She starts telling me she believes I'm female because I'm more feminine than anything. I feel more comfortable in women's clothing than men's clothing is why she says this. And then I begin to think I am.
Now, here's the tricky part. I think I sexually identify as bisexual but everyone else says I am gay. Now here is the problem with that. I don't find women attractive like that. Or at least I didn't. I find men attractive more that way. At least I used to. I still like men that way but I think I like women that way too. But everyone else thinks I'm gay. Even if I didn't like women that way, because I'm transgender and I like men, would I still be gay or would I be straight? I am so confused and am in need of guidance. Someone, please help me.
Your friend, Ellie (19)