5 Reasons Why Your Dad Isn't Coming Back

Hello my fellow degenerates lost in a dark future. We're diving into a fun topic: Your dad isn't coming back. And here's why.

1) The mf is a Hide-and-Seek Championship:

 Remember that one game of hide-and-seek you were playing? Yeah. You're still playing. His ass has lived multiple lifetimes to become the hide-and-seek of champion. And you made the poor mistake of playing the game. Congratulations you're never gonna find his ass

2) He's Been Recruited as a Secret Agent

Well more like kidnapped into The Secret  agency. Either way What if I told you your father had that dog in him. that barbecue grilling, good credit having a father of yours Is be the shit out of Hajjis and Russians. All the late child support payments are justified. He's out there doing some top-secret missions.

3) He Joined a Circus

Let's face it you're an absolute clown and so is your father. So put on the clown make up because he left your mother for the clownussy. Putting on the most dazzling shows, putting bingo to shame. Anything to avoid ever seeing your ass again is worth it. While you sit there  being a clown for free he's making a livable income.

4) Homie is training for a Comedy Show

Comedy takes a lot of effort and you're the punchline. Congratulations you're fatherless. Your dad is taking his comedy to brand new heights all the way in Hong-Kong China floating with Chinese women. He's currently undergoing rigorous training, perfecting his jokes, and planning  stand-up shows.

5)He Got Lost in a Maze of Corn:

https://youtu.be/5vc7WlDShOQ