shit / 11th, june 2023

i am so exhausted.

i was supposed to work today but i slept in so oh well.

im gonna buy myself either some more clothes or two piercings i really want.

septum and vertical labret.

but my fucking mother said that i have to wait because she has too much on her hands right now.

im not asking her to take me i can go with my sister in law because she lives near the only piercing shop i trust and she took me to get my first two piercings anyway.

i can also babysit for them too because thats what i mostly do when i go over anyways.

i dont mind but i have a goal.

so ill probably just ask my brother and sister if i can come over, babysit, and they can take me to get my piercings and i pay.

simple.

but she has to over exaggerate everything saying "your so impatient" "i bend over backwards for you and this is how you treat me" "i can just say no" "would you rather me not support you in anything and not let you express yourself?"

from reading this you might think im the asshole for it but i dont think so.

i purposely worked so hard over the last 3 months so i could make the money for my piercings and she accepted it.

i asked her for her approval of the piercings and she said she doesnt care.

i asked her if she could take me and she said she doesnt mind.

i made the money, i was ready to go when i had the chance.

and she turns me down.

she even promised.

so i dont believe i am the asshole for doing what i needed to do to get what i wanted.

i even made a more simple solution to the issue so i wasnt being a burden to her.

but of course im just an ungrateful and spoiled brat.

like i have been for the last 14 years.

i literally did everything right and she still felt the need to yell at me and get in a big fight with me over me wanting my piercings and making money for it.

i dont understand her and she clearly doesnt understand me.

she has to over exaggerate everything and shes so fucking sensitive.

she is supportive of me, she accepts me for who i am, she lets me do what i think is best for me and what i want to do, she lets me get piercings, she lets me buy the style of clothes i like, she lets me listen to the music i like.

so i dont understand why all of a sudden once i do what i have to do and im ready to go on she has to be in my way even though she was accepting.

i dont understand her.

but whatever thats enough of my ranting its only 12:18 pm right now so imma just go chill ig.

thanks for reading.