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Hello people, idk how to do blog entries, so if this is scuffed im sorry lol..
Theres been a lot happening this year, ive gone thru a break up, my parents are divorcing, schools bad af and overall my stress leves been over the top for some time now. ive been looking for something that could help me get thru it somehow. Just in the right time I went to an anime convention and had to turn off my brain and carelessly cosplay my fav male anime character. This moment got stuck in my brain and i found out that dressing up as someone else and "running away" from my problems this way actually helps with my stress. It gives me more comfort, im more productive and more motivated to learn new hobbies. Since then I tried to cosplay some more. Cosplaying fem characters is a nono for me since it feels to close to the normal me and i cant really get into it, so thats where the crossdressing comes in. It feels very much comforting to dress as a man and pass as a man. Just to clear some points, I am a cis female and i am not aware of having any gender or identity crisis, however having a second personality with different life and problems sound nice to me. These days im thinking about not cosplaying as a male character but instead making sort of an OC and just crossdressing.
Then there come my worries. Is it actually ok to solve my problems by turning into a different person? I dont wanna give myself more trauma than i already have.. Even if this started as a somehow healthy coping mechanism, it could turn into an unhealthy one really fast..
Is there other people who solve their problems like me? If so i would like to hear your insight on this, how do u feel and stuff.
Is it better to stop here and search for a different coping mechanism or continue since it gives me momentarily comfort and hope it doesnt become something unhealthy which i will not be able to get rid of?
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g0bl1n
I think you could try finding more coping mechanisms, this way, you’ll have your mind occupied with things you enjoy. Try hobbies, learning new things. Now, talking about cosplaying, running away from your own problems by becoming someone else, i don’t think there’s something wrong with it at all, everyone is trying to be something else, and everyone is trying to run away from their own problems. Although, you said you want to create an oc, I say you try and become the best version of yourself, change the way you view the world, the way you think. Now, I’m not saying you should become someone else, I’m saying you cou try and change some of your habits, a schedule helps a lot with depressed people, giving them a sense of purpose. Focus more on your mental health!!! And try thinking positively!!! The thing is that we have train thoughts, a thought jumps to another. If you think negatively, you’re gonna do so for a long time, you need to break the cicle.
Thanks for the comment. I've tried a lot of new hobbies in the meantime. Playing guitar, learning swedish and spanish, cooking has been a good one too, however still dressing up and sort of 'roleplaying' turned out to be the best. When you said I should try and be a better version of my own self instead of having an oc and trying to make them better, it kinda hit me, because it sounds like I wanna *fully* abandon my real self with all there is to it, which is exactly what I don't want.. even tho it works as a good escape, I don't want it to destroy or make me hate myself even more.
by _Chai_; ; Report