Entry 9

big update from my last post,

i am no longer in a relationship with that partner anymore, as more and more lies began to unravel and show themselves. it's been a long process but i finally built up the courage to not only break up, but completely remove myself from having any contact with him. there was just too much going on, and it wasn't a great situation to be in. i would say things ended alright, though a part of me still feels a lot was left unsaid. however, i do not wish to bring any of it back up.

furthermore, on a different note entirely, i've been struggling a lot mentally. with being inconsistent with my therapy appointments due to having two inconsistent job schedules, everything feels hectic and i dont think ive ever let myself fully fall apart to start the rebuilding process. i mostly feel held together by tape and strings, doing my best to prevent any crumbling. it's becoming too much to handle, but for some reason i still feel like i can just take it. im sure i will be okay.