"Transtrenders"

I hate that word so fucking much. I've been called it many times for so many reasons. I've been called it for being non-binary, using pronouns outside of just they/them, for not "dressing" trans, for being pro xenopronouns and neopronouns and for being a teenager "looking for attention". THATS why I hate that fucking word. It's usually, as I've seen it, used by transmeds, conservative trans people like those rats that follow Blair White or Kalvin Garrah like they're some sort of divine being, and also trans people who like to put down others to help their gender dysphoria.

I understand why the word was created, obviously to call out cis people who pretend to be trans for attention (though even at that: the thought process is flawed). That is understandable but the word has been used to describe who are very much trans but are ostracised for insert reason. Whether it be for not getting any surgeries, for being ftm and doing make up, being alternative or literally anything else. And people wonder why trendercore is a thing, like what do you think was going to happen? Ofc we would find community in being ostracised, something that the LGBTQ+ was founded on. I m just so glad I'm not physically disabled or POC as I've seen it being more prevelent for the word to be directed at them.

The word just makes me so fucking angry. Like how are you meant to know what I feel like on the inside, how? Are you a gender specialist? Do you know me? Are you inside my head? No. I didn't fucking think so. You know nothing about me, only the stuff I tell you.

So, I am genderfluid, I use he/she/they pronouns, I don't have any surgeries or treatments done, I don't "look" trans, and I don't care what you think of me. You can go contribute trans sewerslide rate for all I care. I have struggled with my gender for so long and after finally finding a term that I feel describes me and then after all that to be shunned by some of my own community for the most miscellanious shit ever. Like what the fuck.