counting losses 💌

hi friends,

it’s been a minute. but i’ve been working on a lot of things recently. a few days ago my grandfather passed, so i’ve made it to michigan with my sister for the funeral and memorial. sometimes it’s hard to grieve, and not be able to express it easily. death is weird for me, i’ve never really felt so sad to the point where it consumed me, which i’m grateful for but i wish i could show how sad i am about it on the outside. it seems selfish on the outside but on the inside it devastates me a bit.. i wont let it take me over though, because whether i choose to quit or keep going, time will still pass. 

while i was at his funeral , the preacher said something that stuck with me. “you either get better, or get bitter,” and i think i’ll remember that forever. my family and i will get better as a whole. 

while i’ve been away, i’ve also been working on something cute for my boyfriend. i’m so excited to give him the gift on our anniversary. he’s been one of the most supportive people during my grandfather’s passing, i’ve never felt so bonded with someone in my entire life. i know dill is here for forever. no doubt about that. as i am too :) 

i’ll tell you what life has been going by real fast. it feels like yesterday it was december, yet 2024 is in 6 months!? that’s insane. i’ve made amazing friends the past year, i’m incredibly grateful for all of them. i also saw my favorite band the other day !! i saw Pierce The Veil in concert :3 as well as The Used but i recently started listening to them a couple weeks ago LOL. these experiences make me realize just how good life can get. sometimes it’s boring though, don’t you think ? it just feels like a loop. but i’m slowly breaking that loop, or trying to at least… in due time. 

a little art update, my art will be put on the back of a skating tee, which my bfs friend runs this skating attire business. so we’re going to use my artwork for the t-shirts, SOOOO DOPE! it’s about damn time i get my artwork around >:D 

anyways i just wanted to emotionally check in cuz i havent been doing that with myself recently and i just thought i could do that here :3 

love u all, 

Vela Joy <3