entry two

this is usually a very hard topic for me to speak on but as of late i’ve been thinking about the topic of death.

mostly how suddenly it encroaches on some of us, springing up when it’s least expected. every second of every day there’s at least one person dying. and that’s a really fuckin sobering thought.

im only 15. im still a kid. but the thought that this is probably my only shot of living here and experiencing life and what it has to give has been plaguing my mind. i could be doing anything, even the most mundane of activities. and the fact comes around that one day it’ll be my last day doing this. my last moments of conciousness and my last moments of having a grasp on the world. will i even be remembered? or will i just fade into obscurity, a fuzzy memory, like many of the others who have had the misfortune of passing away?

even if i were to die from natural causes, like old age, the idea still scares me. i’m scared not to exist. i’m scared to have the world continue turning even once my own inner world has reached its final stopping point. i don’t want to have the world go on without me.