little red toyota camry

fuck! i can’t get the idea out of my head of just fucking off from school. i had almost talked myself out of just dropping out or taking a gap year & then it hit me: gap semester. 

just for scuzz, i was looking at used car listings near me & i found a 3,000 burgundy-red toyota camry. i can’t shake the knowledge that i really fucking should just take a semester off & buy that car & just do fuck all. i think it would at LEAST knock my hedonism right out of me & send me back to school bright eyed and bushy tailed. 

it was the fall semester that really took it out of me last time anyway, and i couldn’t find any good classes for next term, and oh, the fucking appeal. 

i want to see the salton sea

i want to see joshua tree

i want to go to that side of canada 

i want to drive through portland & see where lillie grew up

i want to see seattle

i want to drive through montana and show up at henore’s doorstep 

i want to have nothing to do & just go where the wind takes me and see if that’s really how i want to live

i want to see the violent femmes in connecticut 

i want to see kate on long island 

i want to try to make my living through delivery driving & selling jewellery online

(i wish i could afford all this)

i want to see sedona

i want to find my bliss greg montgomery-style

i don’t think i can handle another fucking fall semester but i don’t want to miss out on all the people i might meet & all the things i might do & holy fucking shit half the people i know took gap years before college & not a single fucking one of them regretted it.