A combination of alexithymia (difficulty recognizing and understanding one's emotions) and depression sucks SO badly bc I already have dysfunction in the part of my brain that produces serotonin and dopamine PLUS when I do actually feel happy I often can't actually tell lol. It's to the point where I realize that I don't know when I was last happy and then I start questioning if I remember what it feels like to be happy and if I've ever been happy. I also dissociate a lot that doesn't help much either. Right now though I can objectively say that I'm doing good and I feel good. Like this whole week. It's been a while since I've felt so certain about it, it's usually very hard for me to figure out. That certainty itself makes me feel even better. Shit is good rn 👌.
Feeling good 👍