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It's Called PE, But for Me It's Pure Evil. I mean seriously, who on earth thought it was a good idea to mix heat, sweat, teenage hormones, and poorly laundered gym kit, then throw in a dash of public humiliation for good measure?
Hey world! It's your resident downtown girl Lev, and boy do I have a bone to pick today.
I swear PE is just another ploy invented by adults to watch teenagers like me flail, flop, and fall, all for their viewing pleasure. I mean, let's be real here, who in their right mind would actually enjoy spending their afternoons running around a dusty old gym or a sun-beaten field, chasing a ball? Not me, not by a long shot.
For starters, the weather. It's like the sun looked down at us PE sufferers and said, “You know what would be fun? Making it hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna”. And no, the teacher doesn't take "but it's scorching hot" as an excuse to sit out. "It’s good for you, builds character," they say. You know what else builds character? NOT fainting on the tennis court.
But the cherry on top of this sweaty sundae has got to be the communal tennis shoes. Yeah, you read that right. COMMUNAL. TENNIS. SHOES. For those of you not in the know, that means SHOES. THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE WORN. Like, honestly, it's like someone locked gym socks, rotten eggs, and a particularly pungent Limburger cheese in a room and let them ferment for several weeks. And I'm expected to put my feet in there? Right. Because teenage life isn't already difficult enough, now I'm dealing with biohazard-level footwear. I’m sure they believe there’s some valuable lesson about sharing and bonding or whatever, but all I'm getting is the aroma of unattended teenage sweat. Honestly, it’s like a science experiment gone wrong, and we are the poor lab rats.
On top of all this, there's the dreaded locker room. It's a nightmare, really. The locker room is a damp and dingy place, the stench of which I'm sure could defeat even the most powerful Febreze. It’s like a twisted game of “guess who’s feet that is”, and spoiler alert: no one wins that game. It's a treat for the senses, and by 'treat', I mean ‘oh-my-god-where’s-the-nearest-exit’.
So, let's summarize my day thus far: stinky locker room, communal foot funk, and now we’re finally on to the main event – the actual PE class.
Every time I swing that racket, it's like a game of Russian Roulette. The ball could end up anywhere - the net, the moon, the poor unsuspecting squirrel (sorry!) the adjacent field, or if it's a particularly cursed day, a whack to the poor unsuspecting guy minding his own business. It’s like, hey, welcome to tennis 101, where the ball has a personal vendetta against you and your dignity.
You know, there's an art to surviving PE. A delicate dance that involves dodging balls, hiding from coaches, and tactically positioning yourself far enough from the action to avoid public humiliation but close enough to pretend you're actually contributing.
So yeah, it's PE, it’s tennis, it’s everything that’s weird and challenging about being a teenager crammed into one sweaty, foot-fungal hour. And while I may hate it, it does give me some good stories to tell. Or rant about. Booo, tomato, tomahto.
Well, till I graduate, I guess I'll have to put on a brave face, a pair of horrifyingly sweaty shoes, and hope my tennis serve doesn't end up in another dimension. This is Lev, signing off, hoping for an alien kidnapping before next week's PE class.
Until next time!
Comments
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SN4CKBUGZ
you poor thing!! i get it, p.e. is more terrible than a witch trial!! >.< i get that its for people to stay healthy during the overall school year, and honestly people need to fix it. some of the kids don't even play fair at all!! i mean, what's up with that?!?
thankss 4 ur comment! i totally get you :( like i think its just not very fair fr
by Lev; ; Report
★Caroli★
This is very relatable post!! if we put aside all those stinky stuff, some students take PE classes very seriously, which is hilarious and sad for me at the same time. if i don't catch a ball or something like that, they literary get so mad that they start yelling at me, which is very frustrating! i feel really bad for you that you have to share sport shoes (?!?!) with others and i really hope, that one day adults realize how unsanitary PE classes are.
have a great day and wish you all the luck! :D
thank u sooo much for ur comment! i agree, i hope the adults realize that its literally a breeding ground for germs (yuck) and omg i get it like when the people who are good at sports stare at u?? ugh worst feeling ever!!
by Lev; ; Report
yeah, exactly! also, i just subscribed to your blog, your posts are sooo entertaining to read! :-D can't wait to read moreee
by ★Caroli★; ; Report
thank you so so so so much!! your support means a lot to me :D
by Lev; ; Report
TheUserPerson
The only experience i had of sharing sports things were sharing thoses sports bibs that we'd put over our clothes whose tryhard's sweat were never washed in decades in elementary school..
BUT SHARING SHOES???? I couldn't do that, i couldn't even stand having to go to lockers rooms, just seeing other people get dressed and sweat is a ick to me.
oh my gosh!! i remember the bibs at my old school - IT STUNK. IT REEKED OF SWEAT. I would never wanna go though that again!!! thank u soo much for ur commend :D
by Lev; ; Report
AlwaysOnTop69
You guys only have to share tennis shoes? We have to share communal gym shorts.
i dunno which ones worse TBH
by Lev; ; Report
Slip_Moth
Real, I go to an all boys school and I'm the weakest guy there and I feel so inadequate but atleast I don't have to do the communal footwear thing. This was an entertaining read, you really have a way with words
THANK YOU SOOO MUCHHHH!! I really really appreciate that comment!! Good luck to you 2 for surviving the stinky locker rooms.. I cant imagine how bad it would be for an all boys school
by Lev; ; Report
Well it either smells awful or it reaks of deodorant no in between
by Slip_Moth; ; Report
awee man i mean i can smell the boys locker room even though im not physically in it so i imagine it must be pretty bad..
by Lev; ; Report