entry #4 - finally went back to school today after being absent for 2 weeks

it was nice seeing my friends again but it really dawned on me that in two weeks ill never have to go there ever again. i genuinely cant wait but its so bittersweet at the same time. im excited that i dont have to see the people i dislike anymore but still. its so weird. im gonna miss a few of my teachers too. some of these women have watched me grow up since i was an 8 y/o :(

i feel like life is about to get way more real. im already starting to feel the real consequences of my actions. like not studying that well for my important exam. my results come out in 2 weeks but im already drowning in anxiety and helplessness. maybe im just overthinking. and maybe my scores wont be as bad as i expect theyll be. i just cant shake the feeling of imminent doom.

sighs