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Nearly a month has past since my world came crashing down once again. Time has went by like a blur but yet I feel like it's been forever. I miss him so much. One thing I've learned is that when someone you love dies, the world doesn't stop like you think it will, or like you want it to. Everything continues to go on. Even when your world has stopped and you feel frozen in place. Christmas will never be the same. I haven't been the same since I lost my closest brother to suicide. I didn't want to go on after him. I didn't think it was fair to. I felt guilty to even eat.
I tell myself he's watching over me in heaven because I find comfort in that although recently after losing another brother on Christmas when he was so excited to finally come home and reunite with us, I lost any type of faith I tried to have. There's way too much suffering in the world. But I do believe they are both still with my family and I, in some way.
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