cringey poem rough draft idk

this is a rough draft for a writing contest that's due in a year, just a spill of some emotion and ideas that i will eventually rewrite and organize and probably add a lot to. it's about growing up undiagnosed autistic, learning how to help yourself and meet your needs alone, and becoming an independent adult fearing you will lose your innocence and "softness" while trying to become strong enough to survive being an adult. learning to mask growing up and fearing it will hurt and change me continuing it as an adult in order to succeed in life.

ALSO IGNORE THE INSANE SPELLING AND GRAMMER ISTG I JUST SHITTED THIS OUT

I fear on my journey for strength and valor

that i will lose my softness of like a flower

A rose with thorns is beautiful and elegant 

But does not compare to the great mullein

Ive held my hand alone through my fights

seen as a beautiful rarity or weak nuisance

I learned to water myself and face the sun

When no one knew i needed water or light

Acceptance of independence for freedom

Hurts more than accepting the neglect I bore 

“You do it to survive” no longer a metaphor

requires i grow further than a mature flower

My hands were always praised for being soft

Who will hold then when calloused and shaky 

labeled indigo child and authentic different

Has reached expiration and slowly died

Its too late to call me what i really am for

It was never a favorable label in their eyes

I forgive you for not seeing and accepting me

If i grow into a mighty herb that thrives u will forget

I hope i can forgive myself for being so cruel

To the part of me that wants to stay soft 

I hope i can forget the person inside

who no one understood to be me

im not all that great at writting anymore this feels like a silly vent atp