finals log

so. it's finals season. here's the situation.

i have three papers to write, two of which are due in two weeks; the other has an extra week, so thank god.

because i'm a bit of a pretentious scholar of the written word, i opted for writing essays instead of making an online module... which sounds more stressful, but honestly, you'll be writing either way, and essays take away the problem of thinking about layouts and how you're gonna plot all the information out on a website or blog or whatever! so i think i made a good decision. well, i know i did, not because i'm actually sure of anything, because in fact i'm quite overwhelmed by everything at the moment, but because telling myself i Do know what i'm doing (re: deluding myself) keeps me sane. just a little. just enough.

fortunately as well i've made sure that all my topics are generally within my interests so research won't be a chore. i think i can go down any rabbit hole if i take enough time, but it helps to already be in a hole so looking for specific references and whatever is easier. oh, and you kind of already know how to approach whatever it is that you're writing about.

when i began the sem, i was hoping to write papers on at least one of these topics: kazeki, girls' culture, eroguro. i'm on the way to checking the last two off the list; kazeki, i've written a paper for already! well, it's only about a specific character, but it's about kazeki all the same. (before university i thought i'd be writing my thesis on kazeki, so the paper existing so early makes sense, but now i think i want to do translation work as my thesis... which is a tall order to ask even my severely brainrotted self, but there's still some years and many language credits ahead for that.)

it's a little crazy but still reasonable that i (very lovingly, mind you) wrote a whole analysis on jules kazeki. but it's just full on deranged that i plan on and am currently researching for a paper basically calling enstars gay yuri. like, gay yuri specifically. it's a big fandom joke that they're all lesbians in there but like, what if i told you (er, argued to you, actually) that's actually kind of true. like that's taking things seriously to a whole new level. i'm losing my mind over it a little bit but i think it'll be rewarding. 

i am so excited to end the sem. i want nothing more than to sleep and sleep and sleep. i always want to take naps now. i just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!