on the road of self repair

hey blog :) 

long time since i’ve blogged, but that’s alright. time to myself was very much needed! lately i’ve been getting my shit together. i knew i would do this for myself, but putting it into action feels so right and good. i got a new job at a thrift store near my house, which is really cool. i like my coworkers :) currently saving up for a car!! then once that’s out of the way, i’ll potentially start saving for my own place gradually, for the future, 2 more years probably. i’d like to live with my parents as long as i can, just because bills seem like they’ll kick my ass. there isn’t much going on though, except like i said, im getting my shit together. i’ve been journaling way more and checking in with myself emotionally more often than i did before. i think keeping myself in check makes me an overall better person. to myself, and to my peers. it’s great to see it. i don’t really like the idea of going to therapy i’m not going to lie, so i’m trying to be my own therapist in a sense. i think this is a great journey, truly. i’ve made so many new friends in the past couple of months in which i am sooo grateful. their names are Chai & Beccah :3 they’re so fucking cool 2. 

a couple months ago, i remember how sad i was about the fact that i didn’t have many stable friendships. i thought it was going to be permanent, and i really felt like i had hit rock bottom. but when you hit rock bottom , the only way to go is up. i got myself out of that hole, i did what i was supposed to do, and now the hard work is paying off. i feel like when you give out good to the universe, you’re rewarded with something so beautiful. like a new connection, a new job opportunity, a travel opportunity, etc. i’ve become so much more social, which shocks me because i never thought i’d be able to do it. although i still feel drained after socializing for too long i think i’ve been learning how to handle that feeling better. it’s progress, it’s amazing progress and i’m so here for it. i know that 16 year old me would be proud of where i am right now. 

i think i’ve focused so much on a job and friendships so much that i haven’t got to know myself more, as much as i’d like. so i started to journal a lot more and learn about myself. things that trigger me, things that make me happy, etc. and you’d be surprised how many things i didn’t know about myself until last week, shiiitt. i’m rooting for myself, as i have a great family and wonderful boyfriend to do the same. i don’t know where i would be without my family and my boyfriend. they’re the most encouraging people in my life. 

i miss blogging , so i think i’ll blog here more often for anyone that might need a word of encouragement. just know, you don’t need to get your shit together until YOU are ready. nature doesn’t rush, so why should we? we are an integrated part of nature, and it’s a beautiful thing. so take it easy. do it on your own time. this is YOUR PATH. 

i love u all

- Vela Joy 💌